


gentlemen’s death in silk and lace

by thunderylee



Category: KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, Crossdressing, M/M, Rimming, Romance, Stage Play
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-23
Updated: 2012-07-23
Packaged: 2019-01-20 07:04:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12427473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thunderylee/pseuds/thunderylee
Summary: When Johnny gets the idea to turn Dream Boys into Dream Girls, wearing a corset is the least of Ueda’s problems.





	gentlemen’s death in silk and lace

**Author's Note:**

> reposted from agck. written with sashjun for je_devilorangel 2012. prompt lyric: _I am a dancer, a frivolous dancer that gets drunk easily when treated_ – Odoriko.

“ _Dream Girls_ ,” Johnny says, and Ueda blinks.

Next to him, Yoko’s eyes light up, making him look a little crazy. Ueda has always thought that one was borderline insane, even back when they were kids. “That’s  _perfect_ , sir!” Yoko declares.

“With all due respect,” Ueda begins, “why am I here?”

“Because I picked your name out of the hat,” Johnny answers simply, then turns back to Yoko with a creepy grin. “You think so? You’ll look pretty in big frilly skirts. And I can advertise it as the kabuki renaissance with a twist. We need to be innovative in the face of today’s challenges.”

He sighs as he leafs through a magazine of pouty AKB models, and Ueda lifts an eyebrow suspiciously. “Are you feeling threatened by the recent infestation of female robots, sir?”

“It’s okay, Ueda-kun,” Yoko says with a grin. “You’re still cuter than all of them.”

Ueda’s glare must look more effective with his short hair, because Yoko’s grin falls and he turns his attention back to Johnny, who conveniently ignores Ueda’s question. “Your schedules are all cleared for the next three months while you put this together,” Johnny goes on. “I’ll promote NEWS in your absence.”

“While  _we_  put this together?” Ueda repeats, starting to feel sick.

“Yes. This will be self-produced between your two groups. You’ll perform it for me before we go live. Make it good.”

Yoko claps happily while Ueda just stares at his boss. He wonders what he could have possibly done in his lifetime to deserve spending three entire months with the rest of KAT-TUN and  _all_  of Kanjani8. At least Dream Boys had been plotted out for them beforehand. They’ll be building this one from scratch.

He already sees Koki and Yasu arguing over costumes while Hina and Taguchi play pranks on everyone and Nakamaru sighs a lot. Subaru would be a decent script writer, at least if the story was going to have a morbid theme. And Kame’s good at giving direction.

Then Ueda’s blood runs cold as he remembers who else is in Eito. He has to remind himself he’s now almost twenty nine and pretty clear about who he is. And that Nishikido hasn’t grown an inch since the last time they worked together. He relaxes a little. Johnny seems to take this as Ueda’s, and possibly KAT-TUN’s, approval of the whole deal.

“But you’ll have to wear a wig,” he says, and Ueda swears he could hear Johnny  _pouting_.

Ueda makes a face, and Yoko hurries in to make it worse. “In three months, his hair will grow back, sir.”

Ueda decides to go and cut it as short as possible the next day. It’s less hot under the wig that way, and he will need every little thing to keep his integrity throughout this. Especially since Johnny and Yoko are already planning his costume, details of his corset included.

*

Yoko brings a boa to the big announcement that Johnny so kindly left to him and Ueda. For a moment, the room goes completely silent, then Kame comes forward and hugs Yoko excitedly.

“It’s finally happening,” he says and tries to hug Ueda too. Ueda gives him one look, and Kame opts for hugging Yoko again instead. “I can finally play with the make-up as much as I want.”

“And you allowed this?” Suddenly Ryo is in Ueda’s face, first to recover from the shock.

“Hey, it’s not like I had a chance there,” Ueda says defensively, as suddenly everyone but Yoko and Kame is staring at him in accusation.

Ryo actually deflates. “Right,” he mumbles dejectedly, and quickly steps back like he just realized he was all up in Ueda’s personal space.

“I’m doing the costumes,” Yasu says, taken aback himself, and pulls at Koki. “You help me out, okay? If we’re doing this, we’re doing it in style.”

And with that, the rest of Kanjani8 finally wakes up. All of a sudden, there’s too much talking, and shouting, and moving around, and Hina hits all of them over head preventively.

In the frenzy of it all, Ueda steps back and lets them process the information. After all, his reaction was not much different, only he knows how to keep it all inside. Apparently, that’s not how these men roll, and he dreads the next three months even more. He doesn’t even stop to think about it when he finds Ryo sitting in the corner next to him, rocking in his chair and looking at the havoc in the room with terror in his eyes. Coping mechanisms, there are so many of them.

Oddly, it feels nice to not be the only one who isn’t pleased with this development. Ueda watches both of their groups excitedly divide up tasks and make plans without a leader, as he knows they’re both used to in their respective business. Seeing them all so happy makes Ueda feel a bit guilty about his initial reaction, and he tries to find the bright side to all of this. Eito is a fun group? There had been a lot of hijinks and gatherings that had left Ueda laughing so hard that his sides hurt the last time they all worked together.

“Ueda-kun, Nishikido-kun,” someone is saying, and Ueda notices that Ryo snaps out of his daydreams as well to find Hina standing before them, looking disapproving while using a nasally teacher voice. “Since you were not involved in our brainstorming session just now, you’ve both been elected as music coordinators. The entire score is up to you. Do your best.”

Ueda feels like the ground has been pulled out from under him and he’s soaring through the sky at the same time. The prospect of collaborating with Ryo leaves much to be desired, but to be (mostly) responsible for  _all_  of the music in the production? He doubts even Ryo can ruin his love for arranging songs and vocals, and when he stops to look at it objectively, Ryo’s just as talented at it as he is.

“I’ll do my best,” Ueda says first, followed by Ryo’s mumble that sounds almost surprised.

Now interested, Ueda listens to the others talk and laugh as Kame draws up a schedule on his whiteboard. He and Yoko are writing the script, Koki and Yasu are doing costumes, Ryo and Ueda are in charge of the musical numbers, Taguchi and Ohkura are putting together choreography, Nakamaru and Maruyama are in charge of the set and props, and Subaru and Hina will just help out wherever needed. Or more likely, in Ueda’s opinion, bother everyone while they work.

“The story should be something people can relate to,” Kame thinks out loud, and Yoko nods. “A small-town girl trying to enter the cabaret world, maybe.”

“And you’ll be the small-town girl?” Ohkura asks with a smirk.

Kame offers him a sarcastic smile. “ _No_. I was thinking Ueda would be a good choice.”

Suddenly everyone in the room is staring at Ueda. “Uhm,” Ueda says.

“I agree,” volunteers Maruyama. “He has that ‘regular guy’ feel to him, doesn’t he?”

The others nod, and Ueda catches Nakamaru grinning. Bastard is probably happy he’s not the ordinary one anymore, though Ueda tells himself it’s only because he’s a better dancer than Nakamaru.

“Don’t look at me like that, Tatsuya,” Kame says sternly. “It’s a lead role. Do you want it or not?”

For some reason he looks to the side to find Ryo’s expression challenging, like he thinks Ueda won’t do it. “Of course,” Ueda decides, meeting Ryo’s eyes.

“Kame should be the big sister who eases Ueda into the industry,” Subaru suggests.

“Oh, I like that,” says Kame, making notes on his phone. “There should be two of us. What do you say, Subaru?”

“Subaru looks like an old woman in drag,” Hina interjects. “He should be the madam of the establishment.”

Subaru flicks Hina in the ear and Hina smacks him in the head. Then Subaru smiles and shrugs. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Have Yoko do it,” Ryo suggests, and Ueda hears a hint of malice in his voice.

Yoko eyes Kame. “Only if my boobs are bigger than his.”

“Whatever,” Kame says, and they fist pound.

A few other roles are decided, along with a basic plotline that surprisingly doesn’t involve anyone dying. Ueda wonders if anyone will come see this play at all, then he remembers that they are twelve Johnny’s idols dressing as women. As long as they’re singing and dancing, people will throw money at them.

While Ueda imagines the juniors sweeping the money off stage during intermission, his character earns a love interest.

“Hina’s the perfect height too. He can be a bouncer in the club, or something, always protecting Ueda,” Yoko explains, and Kame scribbles the character profiles down furiously.

“I’m so looking forward to that kiss scene,” Ryo snickers.

Ueda wishes for Ryo’s guitar string to snap next time he plays and hopes he gets to witness it. Then Taguchi, of all people, suggests Ryo plays Ueda’s rival girl in the club, and Ueda considers buying eleven voodoo dolls.

*

Three days later, Yoko texts them all about having writer’s block. This is a problem because the rest of the production is dependent on the plot. In the meantime, Taguchi cries for inspiration beyond Ohkura’s undulating hips for the choreography.

“Let’s go to a strip club!” Subaru suggests in their next meeting, and Ueda only manages to keep his mouth from gaping because Ryo is sitting next to him. He doesn’t want to be called ‘fish-lips’ right now.

Nakamaru tries to be a voice of reason. “The show is about a cabaret, not a strip club. And we can’t all go. It will draw too much attention.”

“I googled it,” Subaru says firmly. “This one club has a cabaret-inspired show. Yoko needs our help. We all need to support each other. You can wear your wig and girl’s clothes if you want to. It will be like a first practice.”

Nakamaru pales and stays quiet.

“Subaru must have practiced that speech in front of mirror,” Ryo grits out through his teeth. Hina hears it and laughs.

“Never underestimate the power of a perverted mind,” he says, then smacks the table. “Let’s do it! It will be a good bonding experience too, drinking together.”

Ueda doesn’t think it’s necessary to look at naked women while bonding, but he bites his lip and starts to ponder if he has sunglasses big enough to hide all of his face that night.

When the meeting is over, Ueda bolts for the door as fast as possible. He almost trips on Ryo already standing in it though.

“Your number,” Ryo mumbles.

“I thought Koki and Yasu were in charge of the costumes,” Ueda says, a bit confused, thinking about how Yasu had taken all his measurements that day and wondered what cup Ueda’s bra should be. Those were a lot of numbers.

“Your phone, you idiot,” Ryo says more harshly, ears turning bright red.

“What? Why?” Ueda doesn’t give it to just anyone, and he bets Ryo drunk dials people on his contact list.

“We need to start on the music soon. Unless you just want to leave it all up to me,” Ryo answers, collecting himself and standing tall,  _almost_  as tall as Ueda.

“No way,” Ueda shouts, and pulls out his phone. Like hell he’s giving up the best part of this entire disaster.

Ryo actually smirks this time as he punches Ueda’s number into his phone. “Thought so,” he says, and spins to leave. Ueda is right on his heels, and they end up having a silent competition on who can walk faster to the parking lot. Ueda apparently still has longer legs though. He shoots Ryo a victorious grin as he opens his car doors, momentarily forgetting all about the wigs and strip clubs in his future.

Then Kame sends him pictures of wig choices for their outing, and Ueda cringes before selecting the all-black one. He’s always preferred the natural look.

*

“This is fucking ridiculous,” someone other than Ueda says, and he finds himself nodding and agreeing before recognizing the voice.

“You have no room to talk,” he says, narrowing his eyes at Ryo’s complete lack of costume. “You lucked out and picked one of the boy straws.”

Kame had decided that it really was too risky for all twelve of them to go to a cabaret strip club together, even dressed like girls, so he suggested they split it up. Yasu happened to have left-over party straws with penises and boobs on them (Ueda did not want to know what kind of party this was), and they all picked one. Except Ueda, who was told he was going as a girl regardless. Perks of being the star.

“It’s weird seeing you with girl hair again,” Ohkura tells him, fluffing his own curly wig as his heels click next to Ueda. “I’ve gotten used to it short.”

“Is it really necessary for you to wear those?” Ryo asks from Ohkura’s other side. “You’re already like gargantuan tall.”

“Oh, Ryo-chan,” Ohkura teases, grabbing Ryo’s head and shoving his face in his bosom. “Perfect height, am I right?”

“Freak,” Ryo mutters, but he doesn’t bother to push Ohkura away.

Yoko’s waiting for them at the entrance with Hina draped over his arm, and Ueda’s first thought is that it’s a damn shame Hina is the only one not dressing up for their show. He’d picked the girl straw and went all out, looking even skankier than Tegoshi with a mini-skirt and ponytail. He’s even getting leers from other patrons who don’t know any better, leading Yoko to tighten his arm around Hina’s bare waist.

Ohkura notices Ueda’s eyes and laughs, clapping him on the back before traipsing up to the other two Eito members, spinning his sparkly purse in his hand. “Hey, you hot bitch!”

“Hey yourself,” Hina replies, waving to Ueda too, and Ueda’s vision is a little ruined at the manly speaking voice. “Kame, Baru, and Maru – mine, not yours – are already inside, and Baru’s already drunk.”

“Junno’s on his way,” Ohkura says, flicking his long, fake nails. “Got held up by his woman. She’s probably doing his make-up.”

Ueda watches them strut their stuff as females and feels horribly confused. Hina especially is very convincing; Ueda can’t keep his eyes off of him.

“Can you stare any harder,” Ryo asks flatly, demanding Ueda’s attention.

“Can you be any more jealous?” Ueda teases. “The man has nice legs, what can I say.”

Ryo hrmphs and stomps into the club, leaving Ueda on his own. He pulls his sweater around his shoulders not because it’s cold, but because of the stares he’s getting from sleazy-looking men. He’d intended to wait for Nakamaru and Yasu, but each second spent outside the seedy building leaves him more and more creeped out.

After ten minutes, Ueda receives a mail from Nakamaru that says Massu is taking forever to do his hair and Yasu is ‘helping’. Sighing, Ueda turns to the door and starts to head inside, but there are some men standing in the way, and instantly Ueda knows they’re bad news.

“Who needs the club with cute, homely girls like this?” one of them says, and Ueda gives him an unimpressed look.

“I can punch your balls up into your throat,” he tells them, using a higher voice as to not completely give himself away, and the men just laugh. “Please get out of my way.”

“I don’t think so, sweetheart-” another one jumps in, stepping closer to Ueda, but he’s cut off by someone grabbing the back of his shirt.

“Cover’s pretty high tonight,” that voice growls at them. “Would be a shame for you all to get kicked out for harassment.”

Ueda’s eyes narrows even more as Ryo manages to glare them all down from below. “That wasn’t necessary,” Ueda tells him as the men shuffle away.

“You’re welcome,” Ryo says calmly, then turns to walk towards the table where the others are drinking and having fun.

Ueda follows him, fists still clenched from the confrontation, though he’s no longer sure who he wants to hit.

*

A few hours later, there are more wigs lying around under the table they were occupying than on their heads, and Ueda’s worried. Most of the guys are nowhere to be seen either.

“That’s normal. It’ll be fine. No one cares,” Ryo says, and his voice is slurred and muffled in Ueda’s stomach. Ueda still has no idea how Ryo’s head got there, but it doesn’t feel  _that_  bad, so he only stretches and watches the podium.

The girl that’s up is doing some acrobatics on the pole, and the music, in Ueda’s opinion, is far from a cabaret song. Then he realizes most of what he’ll have to compose for the show will be cabaret, and he breaks into cold sweat.

“I can do that so much better,” Ryo giggles in his lap, head now turned to the stage.

“Right,” Ueda snorts.

“I can,” Ryo says stubbornly and actually moves to sit up. Ueda frowns at the sudden movement.

“Then show me,” he challenges, grabbing a random wig and pushing it towards Ryo. He doesn’t really believe the other would.

Ryo pushes the wig away. “It would fall off anyway,” he mutters. Ueda thinks he’s not going to do anything. “What do I get in return?” Ryo then asks.

Before Ueda can collect enough brain cells to reply and refuse the challenge, Ryo’s up on his feet. “You’ll dance for me too,” he concludes, and he’s already crawling up on stage.

Suddenly, the table around Ueda’s much more crowded, most of Kanjani8 coming back and cat calling as Ryo grabs the first empty pole. He sways his hips, and it’s clumsy at the best. Ueda would laugh, but Ryo’s looking straight at him, and yeah,  _this_  he still knows how to do, hooded eyes, lips parted, and  _fuck_.

Then Ryo grabs the pole, legs flying over his head, and he’s spinning down it like a pro. There’s loud cheering, and Junno pulls cash from out of his fake bra, throws it on stage. Ryo sways around the pole for a little longer, then climbs down. Ueda takes another shot that stings his throat.

“Your turn,” Ryo mutters, and Ueda gets up. He doesn’t get to climb on stage. Subaru beats him to it, and he’s actually trying to make the DJ play Christina’s Dirrty, but then resigns himself to rocking to the music that’s playing already.

Ueda turns away from him and steps away from the table, pretending like his legs aren’t wobbly from all the alcohol. Ryo’s seemingly the only one looking at him, not at Subaru. Ueda closes his eyes to everything and moves. To his defense, he’s drunk, so he loosens his limbs and plays something slower in his head. He spins, then stretches his hands a bit, and twirls again. He rocks a little on his heels, hips following, and he loses grip on the reality around him. If Nishikido can pole dance like that, he can dance  _for him_.

“Ueda’s pretty good too. His style’s unique, but good, right Ryo-chan?” Yoko says then, practically leering. It cuts through Ueda’s inner soundtrack. He stops, grabs for a chair to steady himself, and opens his eyes. He meets Ryo’s dark ones that turn away abruptly, and instead, Ueda is met with Yoko grinning at him, head resting on Hina’s fake breasts, twirling a loose lock of Hina’s wig around his finger.

Before Ueda can say anything, there’s an uproar and all eyes turn to Subaru, truly stripping on stage, down to his red briefs. Next to him, Maru is showing off his equally red, but also frilly underwear, thin lace fabric clearly meant for women straining against his ass. Ueda grips the table harder.

And that’s the moment some stranger from under the stage, most likely a stripper who was supposed to be on stage and whose show was abruptly stolen, shouts.

“It’s Kanjani8!”

Ueda’s world spins. It’s a flurry of wigs and heels and sparkles as they run as fast as they can, everyone pulling everyone out of the club and to their respective vehicles. Ueda finds himself in the backseat of Kame’s car with Ohkura and Subaru – still only in his briefs – and all he can wonder is where Ryo is.

Something tells him this dance battle isn’t over.

*

Ueda is constantly amazed at Johnny’s ability to ignore the obvious. Or, more appropriately, to make other people ignore it. He releases a statement about lookalikes, slaps Subaru and Maruyama on the wrists, and everybody is laughing about it the next day.

Except Ryo, who is a bitch when he’s hung-over and spends the entire meeting with his coat over his head. Ueda almost offers to let him lay down in his lap again, then remembers that’s not exactly a sober activity. Maybe he hasn’t slept off his own intoxication yet or something.

Somehow Kame and Yoko had come up with a very rough draft of the script, which Taguchi and Ohkura act out with snobby accents, and Ueda decides it’s enough to work with music-wise. They split up for the afternoon, and Ueda’s surprised when Ryo automatically follows him to his car.

“Didn’t think you’d be up to working today,” Ueda says quietly, turning down the volume of the radio as it blares on.

“I just have a headache,” Ryo grumbles. “I’ve performed on worse.”

Ueda’s first instinct is to say something about his ‘performance’ last night, but he bites his tongue. He’s not sure they’re cool enough for that yet, even if Ueda’s about to take him home to make music together. It will be the first time Ryo’s stepped foot in his apartment.

“Oh, hello, puppies,” Ryo says in this sweet voice, squatting down to pet Ueda’s dogs that rush to greet their owner upon his arrival. “I’ve always wanted to meet your dogs.”

“They’re friendly,” Ueda tells him as he heads to the kitchen to put out several bowls of dog food. “You want anything to drink? Beer?”

Ryo snorts. “Funny.”

Ueda makes tea out of habit, but Ryo looks grateful, and Ueda wonders why they’ve never been friends before. Ryo’s not a complete asshole, and he’s even kind of fun. One of life’s unsolved mysteries, he concludes internally, as he sits at his piano and absently starts to play.

He starts with a slow melody, hoping to work his way up to the louder, more complicated arrangements as Ryo’s head heals, and the next time he glances over, Ryo’s quickly jotting things down in his notebook.

“Lyrics,” Ryo says to Ueda’s questioning look. “Just what comes to my head, nothing final or anything.”

Ueda nods, not wanting to interrupt his flow. He could play the piano forever, the one thing his parents made him do that he enjoys, and sometimes he completely loses himself in the music. This seems to be one of those times, because when he focuses his eyes again, Ryo’s much closer and staring down at Ueda’s hands as they fly over the keys.

“Is something wrong?” Ueda asks, starting a bit at Ryo’s close proximity.

Shaking his head, Ryo’s stare doesn’t leave Ueda’s fingers. “I wish I could do that.”

“You play the guitar better than me,” Ueda says.

“That is true,” Ryo responds. “But somehow this is more beautiful.”

Ueda sucks his lips into his mouth, feeling like  _he_  was complimented instead of his music, but all he says is, “I can teach you how to play. Later, when this is all over.”

“I’d like that, thank you.”

If Ryo notices the tone of the music suddenly becoming more intense, he doesn’t mention it.

*

Yoko decides they should start practicing as soon as possible. They only have a few lines of dialogue, but it’s either that or Ueda being shut in a room with Ryo and desperately trying to come up with songs in a genre neither of them feels too comfortable with.

“Why didn’t you get rid of the bump when you were under the knife already?” Yasu asks next to Ueda, as he starts on Kame’s make-up.

Kame swats his hands away, turning a dark shade of red. “I did not have a plastic surgery. And I told you, I can do my make-up just fine.”

Yasu pouts, and Ohkura comes by, patting him on a shoulder. “Yasu, be nice. No one talks about how you wear your skirts even after rehearsals,” he says, and smiles at Kame. “Your bump is adorable,” he adds and winks.

Kame is still bright red, but at least he’s not glaring anymore. Ueda sighs and steals his eyeliner.

“Tell me why we need to be all made up for this,” he says as the line under his eye gets crooked, and he ends up making it that much thicker to cover it up.

“To get in touch with your feminine side and to practice it,” says Yoko, patting Ueda’s head. “I have no worries about you though, That dance performance of yours made it pretty clear you’re right in your element.”

Ueda throws the eyeliner down on the table and gets up. He just needs to punch someone. It’s been building up, more and more, with every time someone comments on his feminine side. Like that’s the only thing good about him, the only quality.

“Here, your wig,” Ryo says from the side, picking it up, and Yoko flees, wisely. “It fell.”

“Uhm?” Ueda focuses on Ryo, on his serious face.

Ryo pushes the wig into Ueda’s hand along with some tube and goes to sit on the other side of the room, swatting Yasu away when he wants to put lipstick on his face, and flipping his own wig on lopsidedly. He takes a guitar into his hand and plays a random tune, ignores everything until it’s time to practice.

Ueda focuses on it, knowing it’s something they’ve been working on, and opens his hand. He finds out the tube is a freshener spray, especially for wigs, that is supposed to make the head sweat less as well. Anger slowly dissipates from his veins, and he goes back to applying make-up.

He almost manages to ignore Yoko, Hina, and Taguchi whispering behind him.

“We should make Ueda twirl more,” Yoko says.

“On stage?” Hina asks.

“Like a solo of a lost girl fighting for her dream? In an empty club after hours? I can do that. I’ll just come up with basic steps and tell him to improvise.” Taguchi is enthusiastic.

“Yeah on stage too. But wherever, Ryo likes to watch.”

“How is that relevant?” Hina asks, but he’s laughing.

“It’s fun to watch Ryo squirm.” Yoko sounds a little evil. “Maybe we’ll need to get Ueda a bit drunk first.”

“I think we would all perform better a bit drunk,” Taguchi says, completely serious. “It would have the right flare then.”

“Yoko, I just got an idea!” Kame joins them just as Ueda’s fists start closing around the edge of the table again. Then Kame’s girly perfume hits Ueda’s nose, and he can’t help to smile to himself at how much this one enjoys this. Yoko’s so lucky sometimes.

Ueda listens to Kame rattle on about short, frilly skirts and doing ‘the tuck’, and sighs. He’d rather tuck his junk than think about Ryo squirming.

*

All things considered, Ueda loves being on a stage. He loves feeling the rush in his veins, everyone staring at him, and the music pounding in his head. Ryo had talked him out of high range vocals since he’ll be dancing too, and Ueda finds himself grateful for it as they give the production its first official run-through.

It hadn’t been difficult to talk Yoko out of a kiss scene with Hina, but there was still a lot of shameless flirting and dancing that went beyond the realm of the usual fanservice. Once Ohkura found out that Hina could pick Ueda up, he’d gone crazy with lifts and spins and finally Taguchi had to remind him that this isn’t So You Think You Can Dance. Ueda got off lightly with one main lift, but he would take a whole routine of them over the predatory way Hina eyeballs him during their scenes.

“I wish Kame didn’t insist on full make-up and wigs every time we’re on stage,” Ueda complains to Ryo during a break. “Murakami-kun gives me the creeps.”

“It wouldn’t matter to him if you shaved your head and wore only a g-string,” Ryo replies as he strums his guitar a little more angrily than before. “He’s an equal opportunity creeper.”

“Great,” Ueda grumbles, fluffing his wig in the mirror. “I suppose it could be worse.”

Ryo snorts. “It could be me.”

“You’re smaller than me,” Ueda points out, ignoring his initial reaction to this possibility.

“That’s what Yoko said.” Ryo’s frowning from where Ueda can see in the mirror, and Ueda tilts his head in concern. “I tried to get them to switch roles after I found out there was going to be an actual male part.”

“Why?” Ueda asks, his heart pounding.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Ryo asks, and Ueda blinks. “I make a fucking ugly girl.”

Ueda can’t decide whether he’s relieved or disappointed, so he chooses annoyance and narrows his eyes. “No you don’t.”

“I do.” Ryo tugs on the curls of his wig and pouts in his own mirror; Ueda can’t tell if it’s real or not. “I would never date me.”

“You’re convincing enough,” Ueda says noncommittally. “That’s all that matters.”

“I guess so,” Ryo mumbles.

Ueda sighs. “Do you really want me to tell you that you make a hot girl?”

“No,” Ryo answers as he gets to his feet and turns to face Ueda directly, face and hair completely done. “I’d rather just be hot.”

Ueda stares after him as he leaves for his scene, which involves a pole, and feels even more confused than before.

“Somehow I feel like the  _real_  show is backstage,” Ohkura says from his own make-up table, where he’s feeding both himself and Kame, and two pairs of eyes stare knowingly at Ueda.

Ueda ignores them and prepares for his next scene.

*

Ryo is sprawled across Ueda’s couch, and Ueda doesn’t even find it bothersome anymore. He is sitting on the hand rest, holding the guitar, and Ryo keeps swatting at his fingers and moving them into better positions as they work on arrangements for the songs. Melodies and lyrics are done, but as Ueda has found out, neither of them likes half assed work, and they want to see the songs through till the end even if the agency offered the assistance with the post production of the songs.

“There, that’s the way to do it,” Ryo purrs lazily when Ueda goes through the sequence Ryo scribbled on paper earlier fast enough and he slumps back into the couch. “Play it again,” he mutters and closes his eyes.

“You know, you could do it yourself,” Ueda protests, but only because it’s expected.

“It’s your song, princess,” Ryo says, corners of his mouth tugging upwards. Everyone has been calling Ueda’s character in the show like that lately. Ueda’s kind of tired of trying to throw punches because of it.

“Does that make you the ugly stepsister? Or a hag?” he asks, but pulls the guitar better into his lap.

Ryo makes a grimace, but doesn’t comment because Ueda starts playing. Ueda watches Ryo as he goes through the song. It’s interesting to see what emotions his own work produces, in the open, and so intense on someone’s face like this. It makes him wish he could always have someone around to test his songs on. Ryo wouldn’t be too bad of an option. He quickly shakes himself off and finishes the song.

“Now sing it,” Ryo commands.

Ueda kicks him off his couch. “You wish.” Ryo tries to pout. “Only if you can do the piano accompaniment for it,” Ueda challenges.

He spends another hour teaching Ryo how to do just that, both of them sitting on the same stool and running fingers over the same keys. Every time Ryo nods frantically and asks about other transitions, or goes completely silent in concentration when Ueda shows him, Ueda feels his self confidence growing a little. Like he’s not just an idol that looks pretty in a skirt. No matter how much that image is pushed onto him yet again.

*

Today is a good day. In the morning, Ueda manages to do his make-up in record time and everyone’s too busy to comment on his graceful moves, dainty shoulders, gracious charisma or whatever the more perverted members of both bands decide to concentrate on for the day. Besides, it seems that Kame’s most definitely authentic eyelids is the hotter topic today.

Right before they start the run-through, Ueda catches Ryo’s eyes over their respective boas and Ryo licks his lips and gives him this come-hither look, clearly already in character. Who is a real bitch. But it makes Ueda all that more fired up.

So he gets really into it. When Hina leers at him, he manages to smile back, shyly or more provocatively, just like he remembers Yoko telling him before. When he does his solo dance, he hears Maruyama and Subaru whistling in approval, even though they should be in character as girls, doing nothing more than skipping around and clapping their hands gently.  _Subaru, gentle, right,_  Ueda almost slips out of his character then.

Halfway through, Ueda realizes that he’s not the only one having a great run that day. Ryo’s character gives him chills, just like it should. His heroin is especially vicious that day, and the sideway glances Ryo gives him are felt to the bones. This will be great from the audience, Ueda thinks. But then he is in Hina’s arms and he’s back to playing his part the best he can, wrapping his arms around his beloved dancer and sighing contently. Ryo is still glaring. Ueda doesn’t remember him being in this scene, but Yoko and Kame has done so many last minute changes, he shouldn’t be surprised.

Right as Hina and Ueda go through the final notes of their duet, Ueda registers Yoko and Kame pulling a rather unwilling Ryo off stage. Oh, so it’s a love triangle, Ueda thinks. Ryo’s jealous not just of Ueda’s twirling skills; that makes sense. At least, Ueda’s sure it made sense in Yoko’s twisted imagination.

*

They go drinking after the show, everyone praising Ueda a lot and few of them looking at Ryo funny. But Ueda is still high from the great performance he gave and doesn’t pay attention to anything, the amount of shots Yoko keeps supplying him with notwithstanding.

Soon enough, Ueda is tipsy and wants to dance. It’s not that kind of club, but that’s never stopped them before. He specifically hears Yoko’s catcalling and catches Nakamaru facepalming out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t care. Twirling around makes him feel free, energized, and completely relaxed.

Though he doesn’t recognize the grip that halts him, the scent is all too familiar. It makes him dizzier, and he loses his balance, grasping for purchase on shoulders that he doesn’t remember being that defined. The next thing he hears is Ryo’s low voice.

“You’re wasted,” he’s saying. “I’m taking you home.”

Ueda blinks his eyes open and sees three Kames accepting fries from three Ohkuras. “Yeah, I’m probably a little drunk.”

A laugh shakes his body, and he’s impressed with the way Ryo guides him out, then figures he has a lot of practice with his band mates. The world is still spinning when he’s lying stationary in Ryo’s car, which smells like cigarettes and the piña colada air freshener as Ueda looks over at him.

“You’re not going to be sick, are you?” Ryo asks.

Carefully, Ueda shakes his head. “I just wanted to dance.”

“You can dance when we get home,” Ryo tells him, and Ueda notices they’re nowhere near his neighborhood. “You don’t mind crashing, do you? My place is closer.”

“It’s fine,” Ueda says, then leans back in the seat.

Ryo’s apartment is spacious with minimal clutter, which means lots of space to dance. Ueda picks up where he left off, moving to the music in his head, and Ryo stands by the door for a good while, just watching him. Ueda doesn’t mind; he likes when he can bring other people enjoyment.

“What are you thinking, Nishikido?” Ueda finds himself asking.

“I’m thinking this is better when you’re not in a wig and dress,” Ryo replies, his eyes dark, and Ueda stops abruptly.

He stares for so long that he loses his footing again, and just like before, Ryo’s there to catch him. Ueda’s hands return to Ryo’s shoulders, but this time he’s looking him right in the eyes, and he recognizes what he sees despite his vision still swimming a little from the alcohol.

The smoke tastes better on his tongue, the harsh puff of air on his cheek cluing him in to what he’s actually doing, and Ryo’s hands clutching onto his back confirm his suspicions. He’s not even sure their lips had been touching for a whole second before parting, licking at each other’s tongues and breathing heavily through their noses, and Ueda can’t bring himself to care too much because it’s  _that good_.

Something knocks over as they both lose their balance, tumbling to the floor, and Ueda’s hand automatically lifts up to cushion Ryo’s head as he lands on top of him. Ryo’s hands drop to Ueda’s waist to align them, and Ueda’s moan is filthier than usual and echoes in his own head as he feels a hint of arousal try to penetrate his intoxication.

Then he’s on his back, gasping for air, and Ryo’s eyes are wider than they should physically be as he regards Ueda like he has two heads. “We can’t do this,” he’s saying. “Not like this.”

“Not like this,” Ueda repeats, what’s left of his mind racing with what that  _means_. Then it shuts down completely, and it doesn’t register that he’s fallen asleep until he wakes up on a considerably softer surface, the morning sun painfully greeting him.

*

Ueda isn’t one of those people who forget what they did when drunk. Sometimes he thinks it’s actually a curse. This is one of those times. Because he remembers. Clearly. He remembers Ryo’s eyes on him, then his hands and his lips. But most of all he remembers the rejection, Ryo stopping him and looking down at him with eyes wide from — what was it? Dread? Surprise? Disbelief?

There’s no one in bed with Ueda, so he is free to get up as clumsily and disoriented as he wants to. He finds the bathroom and makes himself a little more presentable before coming out and looks for Ryo, who surely must be somewhere in his own apartment.

Ryo and Ueda have never really been drinking buddies. There’s very little that Ryo knows about Ueda’s drunken habits and morning after effects.

“Good morning,” Ueda says from the doorway to the kitchen, voice low but still ringing in his own head.

“Uhm, hey,” Ryo answers, looking up from his rice and script. “You’re up already?”

“How long were you going to let me sleep?” Ueda questions, then startles. “Actually, how did I end up in your bed?”

“I slept on the couch,” Ryo rushes to say instead of a reply.

“Oh, thank you?” Ueda goes to the sink and searches through the cabinets until he finds a glass to pour himself some water.

Ryo eats in silence, but Ueda can feel his eyes on his back. Again. Just like yesterday. When even the sound of water running isn’t there to fill the silence, Ueda collects those parts of his wits that don’t hurt from alcohol and too much thinking right from the early morning and turns around. He sits opposite of Ryo, cradling his glass in his hands, chin resting on the table for support.

“So let me guess. I got drunk and clung onto you until you had no choice but to take me with you,” he says, looking at Ryo from over the edge of his glass.

“Yeah, something like that,” Ryo nods and gulps down more rice. It’s almost convincing. Still, Ueda can’t trace any relief in Ryo’s features. “We need to be back in the theatre in an hour,” Ryo adds after a moment.

It will be a long day. “Do you have some painkillers? If not, I need to get some on the way. Yoko will be singing.”

Ryo presents a Costco-sized bottle of Ibuprofen, and regardless of anything that might have happened last night, he’s Ueda’s favorite person in the world.

*

“What.”

There is mass chaos backstage, but that’s nothing new. As the deadline to perform for Johnny comes closer and closer, the pressure rises and arguments get dumber. Kame has always thrived during complete insanity and keeps everyone calm, even if it’s with a smug little ‘welcome to my life’ smile.

Today is a bit different, because  _everyone_  looks visibly angry, even Kame. He’s so mad that he’s almost crying, which gives his character more depth since he’s already in costume. Behind him, Ohkura hugs him around the shoulders, frowning into Kame’s dark wig.

“He pulled the plug,” Kame tells them, his voice wavering, and Ueda’s first instinct is to get out of the way before Kame punches someone out of rage. “The show is cancelled.”

“ _What_?!” Ryo nearly yells from next to him, and Ueda’s a bit surprised at how invested the other man is. “What are his reasons?”

“Some kind of scandal in the cabaret scene,” Yoko offers from across the backstage area. “International drug trafficking or something. It will actually ruin the agency’s reputation to put on a production like this right now.”

“Bullshit,” Ryo growls. “I’ll go talk to him. I have a lot of pull around here.”

“Ryo-chan, I think he has a point,” Yoko says gently. “I don’t want to be associated with anything like that. I’m still a role model for my brothers.”

“But all of our hard work,” Ryo counters, gesturing to everyone as a whole. “All of  _this_ , for  _nothing_. And Ueda…”

Ueda’s head perks up at his name. “Me?”

“Aren’t you a lead role?” Ryo asks, not quite looking at him. “Aren’t you upset that you aren’t going to get this opportunity? You would have been the center of attention.”

Suddenly Ueda feels warm and a little embarrassed as knowing eyes turn toward him. “It’s not a big deal,” he says.

“Maybe we can change it to another genre,” Maruyama suggests. “The circus or something.”

Kame is silent, and Ueda can tell from his face that he wants to say ‘it’s not the same’, but by admitting so will tell everyone he actually enjoys this type of dressing up.

“I don’t think it would work out,” Ueda says before his brain catches up. But then, it seems like he has this kind of silent mandate to protect their show because he has somehow landed the main role in this insanity. That seems to imply he should have the most interest in the play actually making it on stage.

And. He kind of does have it. “Plus we can’t disappoint the audience. We’ve been hinting for ages. Fans are waiting. If we scrap this, we are never going to make another show  _this_  good.”

“Whoa,” Hina says when Ueda stops talking, and everyone is looking at him in astonishment.

“I thought you didn’t have any leader qualities,” Yoko adds.

“My costumes are too classy to be circus outfits. They were meant to shine,” Yasu suddenly says.

“I definitely liked the one you made for me,” Taguchi nods, encouraging.

“I learned to pole dance,” Nakamaru says. “ _Pole dance_ ” he stresses again, pointing a finger at himself.

Koki starts laughing.

“It seems that I’m going to end up wearing this wig no matter how many times I wanted to set it on fire,” Subaru pronounces, looking at the said wig, almost love struck.

“I still don’t think . . .” Yoko starts.

“We’re doing this,” Kame says, his eyes fixed on Ueda. Ueda feels like maybe, in this moment, Kame is looking up to him just a little, and nothing could stop him now.

“Ueda?” Ryo says then, uncertain.

Right. Ryo. Ueda deflates a little. He didn’t expect Ryo would be the one doubting his determination.

“What is it?” Ueda asks, irked. If the show is canceled, he wouldn’t have to face Ryo again any time soon. That might be a good thing. Or a bad thing. Ueda isn’t sure what his eyes are telling Ryo when he looks at him.

“I’m all for it. But if it backfires, your reputation will probably suffer the most. As the lead role and someone who co-wrote all the music.” Ryo scratches his shoulder nervously.

“But you just said,” Ueda protests.

“I know I did,” Ryo interrupts him. “I mean, it’s your career not mine. I was just thinking. If it were me . . .”

Ueda knows he’s smiling like an idiot when he turns back to the rest of the room.

“So how do we force Johnny to change his mind? Abduction? Drugs? Ransom?”

*

Thankfully, Ueda doesn’t need to think up the plan once everyone has decided to not give up. With Yoko, Hina, and Kame, he can just sit back and watch them frantically think up strategies. He isn’t even that surprised when one of them really does involve drugs.

“Ueda,” Ryo says when the discussion is pretty heated and no one pays attention to them. “Can we talk about this?”

“Hmm,” Ueda nods, but doesn’t even look at Ryo, watching the discussion going on. He needs to make sure there really isn’t any chloroform involved as Yoko just suggested.

“In private,” Ryo stresses, and Ueda tenses for just a moment.

“What, like in some janitor’s closet?” he asks, joking the tension away.

“If that’s your thing,” Ryo laughs and gets up. Ueda follows him to the empty corridor.

“I just want to make sure you’re doing this because you want to. We could probably somehow release the songs alone if we tried to. And I think we got a bit carried away,”

Ueda worries his lip, and Ryo stops talking, watching Ueda silently like he wants to say more but at the same time he doesn’t. For some reason, it reminds Ueda of how Ryo held them both back last night, and he ponders if that’s the reason why Ryo suddenly isn’t saying what he wants to.

“Are you even listening to me?” Ryo asks, a bit annoyed.

“Look, I can handle this. I want to act in this musical. I’m actually looking forward to playing this girl, damn it; now that I know how to twirl well enough even by Yoko’s standards. I mean, even you like it. You said so yourself just yesterday. And the wig actually makes it more authentic. So stop being so nosy. Like you care,” Ueda says it fast and without thinking because now it’s important to be inside and not let those idiots talk themselves out of the plan. Now it’s time to do something, and he might not have always been proactive, but this is who he is now, and Ryo should know this has become important to Ueda.

“I do care,” is all Ryo says. He looks taken aback, and his fists are tightly balled up. “But I still think the wig is unnecessary.” he adds, more quietly.

Ueda is just about to open the door and go back into the practice room. He freezes with his hand on the doorknob, suddenly realizing his lie from this morning has fallen apart. And just like that, he becomes much more aware of Ryo standing close behind him, staring at his back, of his breaths slightly faster than usually.

“There’s that,” Ueda mutters in the end, unable to face Ryo in that moment. “Let’s get this over with,” he says more loudly and goes back inside the practice room, where Yoko has pulled out a white board and has drawn some crazy map and plan steps. Chloroform has been avoided. Ueda suspects he has Kame, or maybe Nakamaru, to thank for that.

*

That evening, after all the plans are made, Ueda takes Junno, his apparent future partner in crime, to go drinking with him. He gets drunk and ends up twirling around their private booth.

When he drunkenly leans over Junno and asks him to dance along, Junno laughs.

“I’m afraid that works only on Nishikido-kun, Tat-chan.”

Ueda, in his drunken haze, doesn’t complain. He gets lost in the flashes of what the last twirling led to and how it could have ended.

*

“Good afternoon,” Junno says to Johnny-san as he and Ueda  _accidentally_  meet him in the agency.

Yoko has connections, and Johnny’s schedule apparently isn’t too hard to come by.

“Boys,” Johnny nods a little and eyes them. Ueda swears their boss got suspicious the moment he sees Ueda. Well Ueda had pointed out it was a bad idea for him to be here. He’s not  _that_  good of an actor.

“We’ve just wanted to invite you for a little spectacle.” Junno says, seemingly unperturbed.

“A really good show,” Ueda mutters as his tongue swells a little.

“I see.” Johnny tilts his head. “I’m on schedule here,” he says — clear instruction to get lost.

“It will be worth your time.” Junno saunters to him and grabs him by the shoulder.

Johnny raises an eyebrow. He raises his other one as Junno drags him down the hall, claiming he’s to see things never seen before. It’s so easy for Junno as he towers over Johnny and clearly has no fear of him.

Ueda doubts this will be the first time Johnny will be watching boys dressed as girls pole dancing and singing cabaret songs, really.

Johnny glares at Ueda, not at Junno, when they get out of the agency and a van abruptly brakes on the side of the road. Yoko opens the back door and grins maniacally.

“It’s more comfortable back here,” Hina says from where his head sticks out next to Yoko’s. They are both in full costume already.

*

At the venue, everyone is dressed up and buzzing around already. Kame has the opening scene with Yoko, but he helps Ueda put his make-up on, the fastest of them all. Ryo watches from across the room, leaning against his vanity table.

“He can take care of the rest, Kamenashi,” he mutters as Kame starts checking Ueda’s hair. “You’re on.”

Kame smirks. “You could just say you want to be alone for the pep talk,” he says, and he is out the door. Ueda recognizes the intro of the first song he wrote with Ryo.

Ueda knows this. He’s practiced more than anyone else, co-wrote all the music and could recite the lyrics in his sleep. His palms sweat as he carefully puts on the wig. It slips a little, and he finds Ryo fixing it, standing close behind.

“You’re so damn beautiful; no one would ever know that you’re a dude,” Ryo says into Ueda’s ear, watching him in the mirror.

Ueda’s eyes go round. This is the first thing Ryo’s said to him since two days ago in that corridor.

Then Ryo snorts a little. Not a compliment then. Still his eyes are fixed on the reflection of Ueda’s face.

“And here I thought you prefer me as a man.” Ueda can’t help the jibe. It’s natural by now.

But it falls flat, and Ryo’s hand squeezes Ueda’s shoulder, while Ueda holds his breath for a moment. All in all, it ends up being more reassuring than vexing. In a way, the flash of Ryo’s smug look gives Ueda the confidence he’s been looking for. He makes a damn good girl, and he knows it.

“You’re on in a minute.” Hina comes flying in. His time doesn’t come until later on, and he’s decided to keep everyone on cue in the meantime. He eyes Ueda and Ryo on the other side of the room. “You look like a hot pair of lesbians just about to have a sex romp,” he says happily. “I wish I could be in that musical.” Then he’s pulling Ueda into standing up and giving him a slap on the ass to send him off. “See you later, girlfriend.”

*

The show goes off without a hitch and ends with a standing ovation, even if it’s only from Johnny. He doesn’t reinstate the show, but by this point nobody really expects him to. A double-group television special is planned instead, to appease the fans who have been teased with a KAT-TUN/Kanjani8 collaboration of _some sort_  for the past few months, though seeing the actual production in full does encourage Johnny to keep the script on the back burner for the future after the whole scandal blows over.

The promise of the future makes Ueda less bitter about this show slipping from between his fingers right now, though he figures he might be too old to prance around in heels by the time it is resurrected. As much fun as he admittedly had putting this together, he will not miss that part. It’s only fair that the next generation of Johnny’s groups should be subjected to this as a rite of passage, he concludes. He’d be more than happy to rearrange the songs to fit another lead’s voice. With help from Ryo, of course.

He stealthily watches Ryo from across the room as they all wind down after the final curtain. Most of Kanjani8 are still in their costumes, and Ueda has no doubt that they plan on spending the rest of the evening that way. With the exception of Ryo, who had yanked his wig off before he was even off-stage, now scrubbing his face so hard that parts of it are turning red.

“Stare harder,” someone hisses from next to him, and Ueda turns to see Ohkura carefully picking off Kame’s peacock eyelashes. “Seriously, Ueda-kun, you’re transparent.”

“I don’t need to hear that from you,” Ueda says pointedly, giving Ohkura a knowing look. “It’s over anyway. We never have to see each other again now.”

“Is that what you really want, Tatsuya?” Kame asks, and Ueda stands up so fast that the chair knocks over and everyone stops what they’re doing to look at him.

“Good show, everyone,” he plays it off, starting a round of applause that turns into cheering and some questionably close hugs. “Even though we didn’t get to perform for our fans, I still had fun working with you guys.”

“We love you, KAT-TUN!” Yoko yells, and Koki and Taguchi respond likewise for Eito.

“Obviously we should get obnoxiously wasted later to celebrate,” Subaru suggests.

The others cheer at that, too, and make plans to meet up at a local dive this evening. Ueda takes the opportunity to approach Ryo and catch his eye in the mirror.

“I need to talk to you,” Ueda says quietly, though he suspects that Yasu pretends not to hear him from the next table.

“Janitor’s closet?” Ryo suggest, lifting an eyebrow, and Ueda shakes his head.

“I’m much classier than that. Let’s go to my place.”

*

Surprisingly the atmosphere in the car is calm, like there’s not a cosmic ton of tension between them from this whole excursion. Ryo makes fun of his band mates and Ueda does the same, the common ground between them growing as they segue into musical technicalities and what they’d like to change for next time.

Once inside Ueda’s apartment, all bets are off. “You said I was beautiful.”

“Do you know your make-up is still on?” is Ryo’s response.

Ueda pauses, lifting his hand to his face. Sure enough, his fingers come back colored. “I must have forgotten to take it off.”

“You were in such a rush to be alone with me that it slipped your mind,” Ryo says, and Ueda narrows his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s true. Come here.”

He disappears down Ueda’s hallway and Ueda follows him, bewildered at being led somewhere in his own apartment. He ends up pulled into the bathroom as Ryo wets a washcloth. Then it’s on his face, and Ueda closes his eyes, remaining still as Ryo cleans off the makeup with careful swipes. It’s so gentle that Ueda feels instantly comforted, his eyes fluttering open when a few seconds pass with no contact.

“You’re even more beautiful like this,” Ryo whispers, and Ueda’s heart skips a beat. “Are you going to kiss me again, or do I have to get you drunk first?”

It’s a blatant invitation, one that has every nerve in Ueda’s body yearning to lean in, but something holds him back. “Stop calling me beautiful.”

“Why?” Ryo asks, stepping closer.

“Because that’s what you’re supposed to say about girls,” Ueda tells him, watching Ryo’s eyes dilate as the distance between them lessens. “Say that I’m handsome, or hot, or just good-looking, but don’t–”

He’s cut off by Ryo’s mouth, held still by Ryo’s hand on the back of his head, and the rest of his words die on Ryo’s lips as his mind helpfully shuts off his brain. He’s wanted this for  _so long_ , which is crazy when he didn’t even want to  _think_  about Ryo three months ago. Clearly feelings can change.

“I know you’re not a girl,” Ryo hisses between fire-hot kisses. “I think you should show me how much you’re not.”

Something snaps inside Ueda, and he picks Ryo right up off the ground, chasing his tongue around his mouth as he bumps into every wall and surface on his way across the hall. Finally he reaches his bed and shoves Ryo down onto it, catching the heat in Ryo’s eyes as he follows, hands pulling at his clothes with no semblance of order or decency.

Ryo doesn’t stay behind, and soon they’re only in their boxers, legs twined together as Ueda sucks at a spot behind Ryo’s ear, pulling shudders and soft mewls out of him. Ryo weeds his fingers through Ueda’s short hair and his other hand slides down Ueda’s back. The calloused fingers are slow and soothing, and Ueda lifts up, looks into Ryo’s eyes again.

“You’re not going to stop me now, are you?” Ueda asks.

In reply, Ryo pushes his hips up and his hand moves just a little lower, nails digging into Ueda’s ass through the fabric of his boxers and pressing them flush together.

“I just wanted you to remember us and to not regret it,” he breathes out and kisses Ueda, heated and deep, holding him in his arms and as close as possible.

Ueda doesn’t know if it’s his or Ryo’s longing sneaking into the kiss. His head spins, and he lets himself being cradled like this, pushing back against Ryo and getting heady way too quickly. Only when Ryo moans into the kiss and slides his hand down Ueda’s thigh then back up underneath the fabric, does Ueda pull back.

“And I’ll make sure you’re not going to ever forget this,” he breathes against Ryo’s mouth and leans up, grabbing lube from his nightstand then sliding down Ryo’s body. Ueda finally takes both Ryo’s and his own boxers off and groans when Ryo leans up, running a finger up his cock. Ueda presses his palm against Ryo’s stomach, rubbing the tense muscles there. He slides it up over his chest, pushing Ryo to lie down again. Ryo’s hand moves back into Ueda’s hair, the only part of Ueda he can reach, and Ueda pushes his legs up and more apart.

“Hurry up,” Ryo groans when Ueda kisses his inner thigh, lips ghosting closer to Ryo’s cock. He cracks open the lube and circles Ryo’s rim just as he sucks one of his balls into his mouth, and Ryo’s hips jerk. “Fuck Ueda, just do it,” Ryo says, sounding completely out of breath and wanton. “I’m not a girl either.”

That really does it, and Ueda pushes two fingers inside Ryo at the same time. Ryo pulls at Ueda’s hair almost painfully, and his other hand grabs the sheets, but he doesn’t stop moaning when Ueda probes his fingers deeper right away. He wants Ryo more for every tense breath he takes now and for every shiver that Ueda feels running through him when he sucks at the base of his cock and his fingers slide in fast and almost harsh.

“Fuck, Ueda,” Ryo gasps, and it means something completely different this time. Ueda hums nonchalantly as he tongues the underside, flicking the vein and taking pride in the way Ryo twitches right in front of his face. “ _Please_.”

It’s so sweet and sincere that Ueda doesn’t deny him any more, licking his way up to the tip and taking the head past his lips. He lifts his eyes, expecting to see Ryo’s head leaned back and his eyes closed, but his eyes are wide open and staring down at Ueda, watching him. It sends a surge of arousal straight between Ueda’s legs, leading him to suck more of Ryo’s length into his mouth. He’s ready for this to progress, fighting to keep from grinding against his own covers for friction.

Ryo’s moaning is nice, as is the way he hardens in Ueda’s mouth as Ueda swallows around him. Ueda feels so powerful, even though he’s the one with a cock in his mouth, and he becomes more confident in his actions, slowly moving back and forth and hollowing out his cheeks to make it tighter.

“Right now,” Ryo breathes, “you are the epitome of a cock tease.”

Ueda chuckles, and  _that_  has Ryo arching. The desperate way Ryo begs for it is so enticing that Ueda wants more of it despite himself, and he pulls off completely, cherishing the whine he gets. “I’ll stop then.”

“Damn it, Ueda,” Ryo snaps, sounding pissed, and Ueda thrusts his fingers in deeper, effectively silencing Ryo with what looks like a full body wave of pleasure. “ _Fuck_.”

“I’m getting there,” Ueda says calmly, resting his head against Ryo’s tense thigh to watch his fingers slip in and out of Ryo’s body. It’s oddly mesmerizing and before his thoughts properly formulate in his head, he’s leaning down to lick around his fingers.

What comes out of Ryo’s mouth next is garbled, his grip on Ueda’s hair wavering as Ueda feels Ryo tighten, then gradually relax even more. Ueda’s tongue circles the rim before slipping in alongside his fingers, pushing in and out as well as he can with Ryo canting his hips to push back.

Ueda’s own body tenses with each of Ryo’s moan, the pull on Ueda’s hair and with each thrust of Ryo’s hips. Then Ryo almost sobs when Ueda’s fingers finally find the place in Ryo’s body that he’s been looking for, and Ueda registers the sheets being pulled with fervour from underneath them. He looks up at Ryo, admiring the curve of his body, the stretch of his neck, the flex of his muscles and the small droplets of sweat running down his chest. Ryo lifts up his head to look back at Ueda, and his eyes are dark, his lips red and bitten.

“Don’t stop,” he hisses, and Ueda can’t deny him, dipping his head back down, tongue lapping between the fingers pressing inside Ryo. Ueda’s other hand cups Ryo’s cock before Ueda can control the urge. It only takes a few strokes before Ryo moans loudly and comes, the hand in Ueda’s hair pulling quite painfully now.

“Fuck,” Ryo swears breathlessly, yet again, slumping into the sheets as Ueda moves up his body and suck on the skin of Ryo’s shoulder.

“I’d love to,” Ueda mutters, and now it’s Ryo who’s laughing.

He scratches nails down Ueda’s back and down his ass, pressing Ueda’s cock against his side and humming lazily. “Can you make me come again?” he asks.

Ueda bites the place he’s been sucking on then lifts up, grabbing at Ryo and rolling him onto his stomach. He pulls him onto his knees, and Ryo willingly leans on his elbows. “So greedy,” Ueda says then moans, pressing his cock against Ryo’s ass and rubbing it between his cheeks for a bit before he grabs the lube again and coats himself.

When Ueda pushes in, he has to grip Ryo’s hips to stop himself from moving right away. He drapes himself over Ryo’s back and kisses his hairline while Ryo tries to calm his breathing.

“You feel so good,” Ueda tells him, and Ryo throws him a heated look over the shoulder, biting his lip again. He pushes back against Ueda a little, as if encouraged by the compliment, and Ueda closes his eyes against the burn of pleasure. He could come now, but accepting Ryo’s challenge means this could last longer. So he sits back on his heels, bringing Ryo with him into his lap and grabbing for his chin to kiss him.

Ueda starts to play with Ryo’s nipple, rubbing it between his fingers while he rocks them slowly until Ryo starts to gasp into his mouth again and Ueda moves his hand over his abs and lower. Ryo hisses, and Ueda pushes into him a little harder, breaking the kiss and mouthing at Ryo’s hairline, now that it takes all of his mind power to go slow. Suddenly, Ryo’s hand covers Ueda’s, and he guides it to his cock, gasping, moaning and shivering in Ueda’s lap as he hardens again.

“Don’t hold back,” Ryo whispers, managing to catch Ueda’s lips in a sloppy kiss afterwards. Ueda doesn’t think he can any longer. He holds Ryo close to him, hips snapping up into him as fast as he can while pulling him off in time. Low, harsh grunts sound from his throat, pressing into Ryo’s neck as Ryo throws his head back over Ueda’s shoulder.

Ryo’s moaning so loudly that he’s practically singing, each sharp crescendo making Ueda thrust even harder. He feels Ryo tighten around him, and it has him gasping, pushing through the resistance and hissing Ryo’s name into his skin.

“Come for me,” Ueda rasps, flicking his wrist to squeeze the head of Ryo’s cock.

Ryo tilts his head to the side, nuzzling Ueda’s neck with his nose and panting into his skin as he jerks and releases over his fingers. Ueda feels it all around him, gripping Ryo’s hips with both hands and fucking him so hard that he can’t think of anything but Ryo and orgasm. Deep grunts come out with each breath, and he vaguely registers Ryo whispering filthy, encouraging words into his neck as he too finishes.

Mindless, boneless, and careless, Ueda falls back onto the bed and pulls Ryo with him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him close, forcing an eye open when Ryo stirs. “What.”

“We have to go,” Ryo breathes. “To the celebration.”

“I’ve seen those guys every day for the past three months,” Ueda replies. “They can live without us for one night.”

“What makes you think I want to spend the night with you?” Ryo asks, and Ueda sees the familiar smirk on his face.

‘What makes you think what you want matters?” Ueda counter-asks, and Ryo lifts his eyebrows.

“All that implies is how much you want me, you know,” Ryo points out.

Ueda shrugs. “Take it as you will.”

With a soft laugh, Ryo rolls over enough to lay his head on Ueda’s chest, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips. “Then I’ll take it as you finding me inexplicably hot and irresistible.”

“Whatever,” Ueda murmurs against his lips, feigning nonchalance even though he can’t exactly argue.

*

“So, how was it?” Yoko asks Ryo the next day when they all meet up backstage of the theatre to pick up the remainders of things they brought here over the days of intense practice.

Ryo looks at him blankly.

“You came through that door just now with a stupid grin on your face and Ueda on your heels,” Junno points out helpfully, slinging an arm around Ueda and making him face Ryo. “And you two clearly found a better way to celebrate yesterday. Ditching the rest of us like that.”

Ueda sighs. He should have stayed in the parking lot a little longer. How could he have forgotten the maturity level of his and Ryo’s groups combined? “It must have been a really boring party if you had time to think about what we were doing,” he says.

“Oh, believe me, we thought about it — with great pleasure,” Subaru smirks. That is clearly too much for Ryo because his cheeks actually redden when Subaru leers and comes closer. “Did he dance just for you, Ryo-chan?”

Ueda hears Kame snicker from right behind him.

“You know,” Ueda says to the room at large. “After all that dressing up as a girl, I really feel like taking a swing at someone. Right now. It’s been a while,” he says and cracks his knuckles.

“Don’t be silly, darling,” Hina says, clearly still half in character. He comes forward and wants to whack Ueda overhead, but Ueda really is in no mood so he dodges. Hina’s hand, decorated with several rings, lands straight on Kame’s face, dropping from above with much more force than Hina wanted to.

“Fuck!” Kame swears, bending in half. He brings his hand up and flinches at the smallest touch to his nose. When he straightens up, Ueda only stares at how it looks kind of misplaced on Kame’s contorted face.

“I think you just broke Kamenashi-kun’s fine nose, Murakami-kun,” Johnny says from the doorway, and they all freeze. “You better heal fast, Kamenashi-kun. Your role in this musical is quite crucial.”

Ueda’s brain has problems wrapping around Johnny’s words. He is left standing there as most of the people in the room surround Johnny and start shouting while Johnny declares he has changed his mind. “I guess I still like crossdressing too much. And you all do it too well for it to not be shown to the world.”

Only Ohkura comes close to Kame, gently making him sit on the couch and rubbing his back.

“Look at it this way. At least now, the bump will be authentic. Or you can have it fixed, and no one could blame you, since it  _is_  broken.”

“I don’t think it will be that easy,” Ryo suddenly huffs from next to Ueda. “Press will never let him live it down.”

“At least it will be the truth this time,” Ueda says absentmindedly as Ryo moves closer, pressing his shoulder against Ueda’s.

“So. It seems you’ll get your chance to dance on stage after all,” Ryo changes the theme abruptly while they watch the havoc the news created. “In a flowy skirt and a black wig,” he adds, his voice suddenly low.

“Traitor,” Ueda bumps his shoulder. “What was that talk about me being better as a boy? I  _am_  better as a boy,” he adds wistfully.

“Oh believe me, I know that,” Ryo smirks at him. “But if you want to, you can show me again, any time.”

“In the janitor’s closet?” Ohkura asks from behind them, and Kame actually attempts to laugh through his pain.


End file.
